Love You and Leave You

My Mom, Lillian, connected to everyone in her life in different ways.

She talked regularly on the phone with her many friends, and her family and her way of ending the call was to say “I’m going to love and leave you“.  So many people have told me she ended her calls to them like that also, I’m Going to Love You and Leave You.

She remembered special dates of family and friends by writing them in her little book and would call or send a card. I remember getting a phone call from her wishing me Happy 10th Anniversary for my successful cataract surgery (I had forgotten the date, and lost track of the years!) Obviously she remembered all kinds of events 🙂

Lillian was creative in many ways. She loved painting, and painted in oil, and water colour.  She also enjoyed drawing and on my desk, below my keyboard is a drawing she made in 1967 of Tiger (my german shepherd) that she covered in plastic so I would always have it.  I think of Mom every time I sit at my desk.

Lillian’s creativity was useful also, she studied and mastered card folding and included her needlepoint in beautiful gift cards, get well cards, birthday cards, thinking of you cards. People tell me that they saved every card and bookmark Mom ever made them because it was special, handmade and personal.

Mom also loved to make relish, and jams and when I pull out one of Mom’s relishes from the pantry and every-time I use them I am reminded how she cared for the people in her life and demonstrated that care.

Mom had faith in God, and before you ate at her table or left her home to travel to your own, she made you stop so she could pray for you and your safe trip,  It was not unusual to get a phone call from her so she knew you had arrived home safely.

Lillian loved to knit, and she made toques and slippers especially.  The slippers were soft and especially appreciated by family, who like warm feet in the winter time, I guess that means everyone 🙂  Toques she knitted by the hundreds all summer long while she was watching TV with Dad.  These toques were donated to the homeless in Vancouver for the cold damp winter months, and I loved her toques because they were warm, colourful and not too tight, a bonus because a tight toque makes my hearing aids squeal.

Mom was special and will be remembered for the loving person she was. I will remember her in countless ways,  because she showed her love for me in countless ways.

Mom showed that love and kindness to my Dad, my brother, her grandchildren and great grandchildren. She showed that kindness to her entire family, her nieces and brother in law, sisters in law, and her church family.

I’ll be talking always to you Mom, you loved and left me too soon.

Mom & I in Quesnel – approximately 1965

 

My Mom, Lillian passed peacefully June 6, 2018 and left a hole I can never fill in my life.

Missing you Mom.

Thanks for reading. I wasn’t sure if I would blog about my Mom’s passing. This post is not about me, it’s about her and the life and person she was. I was fortunate to be her son.  I was so glad I stood and spoke at her funeral because I wanted to share how I remember her, and it was six minutes I prepared for and yet it was a day I never wanted to experience.  I know she would have been proud of her son speaking out and it was my last gift to her.  Life is a gift, hug those you love as much and as often as you are able, you won’t regret it.

 

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Every Day – Help Wanted

 

I was thinking about things that I want to include in my life Every Day. What do you include in your Every Day?

Sitting Duck

Every Day

1. Count Your Blessings, before you count anything else.
2. Stretch, and be aware of the simple pleasures of movement.
3. Be kind to someone you don’t know.
4. Pick up one piece of litter that’s not your own and imagine if everyone did.
5. Smile, it’s healthy for you, mind and body.
6. Try something new, every day.
7. When you wake up be glad to be alive.
8. Like the boy scouts say; Do a Good Turn daily!
9. Give your significant other a kiss and express your love verbally.
10. Connect with God daily, through prayer, reading and worship.  Every other daily suggestion will fall into place from here. (Thank you Sharon D.)
11. Meditating or sitting in silence.
12. Practicing Gratitude (similar to #1)
13. Connect with nature – spend some time outdoors every day. It makes a great difference to your level of happiness.

 

 Help Wanted – this is my hope, that NOW YOU will send me an email with your Every Day suggestion at dfolstad58.gmail.com or share it with me in comments. 

I will add them to the list.  My fellow bloggers, please help. 

what ear hair?

ONLY The first 5 were my thoughts – please share your thoughts from big or small to add to the list.

My hope is for 25 more, but you could surprise me. Thanks in advance.

I will update the blog with your ideas on Thursday May 24. See you then 🙂

Make That “Some Day” Today

I procrastinate.  I can take a long time to get something accomplished,  and some things I won’t put off at all and they are usually fairly inconsequential.

I think everyone has a “Some Day I will” in them,  they know what they want and/or what they should do  but are lead footed in getting going.

David Gilmour (Pink Floyd) wrote these words for his song “Breathe” and maybe his version of  Some Day is what he was thinking.

I wonder what these words make you think of?

 

 

Breathe, breathe in the air
Don’t be afraid to care
Leave but don’t leave me
Look around and choose your own ground
For long you live and high you fly
And smiles you’ll give and tears you’ll cry
And all you touch and all you see
Is all your life will ever be

There are many types of Some Days including:

• do something healthy or alternatively stop doing something unhealthy,
• heal relationships, reaching out with an apology,
• making memories with the closest people to your heart,
• making that bucket trip or having that one experience,
• going back to school,
•  making a phone call to a friend you haven’t talked to for a long time.
• whatever comes to your mind 🙂

Regardless of the “Some Day” that comes to your mind in this minute,  I hope that today you take a step in the right direction (even if it is small) today to crush it, because only you will know how glad you did.  I’m trying to do better also.

It’s Possible, but it is all up to you and me (I’m exactly like you or worse)  to make it happen.

Let’s each one of us – Make that Some Day Today.

Thank you for reading, commenting, and taking the time to follow my blog posts. 

Classic but true

7 years ago I posted this and remembering family today seemed appropriate.

Life and Random Thinking

I remember my grandma (Baba) teaching me manners when I was just 5 or 6. She took me to a hotel in Kindersley, Saskatchewan and bought me a cola. I think it was 5 cents. I couldn’t drink it until I said thank-you. She told me, and taught me to remember my manners, always please and thank you.

Baba was right and even for the simplest things, I remember my manners.

My parents and Grandparents taught through their actions. Family was important, and actions speak louder than words.

We never ate in front of a television, my parents taught me to try new things and do it myself. I made kites from balsa wood and newspaper. I used to play “Battleship” with my Dad and I drew 10×10 tables so we could call out the grid numbers for our “bombs”.

I hope I have done some things right teaching Classics…

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Getting old is a pain in the…

My grandma (Baba) used to tell me that in her mind she was still 18, and she told me this when she was in her 80’s.  She was a fun person who after she turned eighty started celebrating her birthdays in reverse i.e. 81 became her “18th” birthday.

Body versus mind.

My mind certainly can believe anything it wants but my body, well that’s another story completely.

When I was young,  and I went camping with my family, I was the usually first one out of the tent in the morning.  I would spend the next few hours puttering and skipping rocks on the lake.

I mention this because yesterday I was down at the lake reliving those moments along the lake. I would look for a suitable flat rock and then crouch down and twist and fire that rock along the lake surface. 

Getting old is a pain in the BACK!  I hadn’t set any Guinness records yesterday before I realized I was in pain. That quick twist and throw without a few months stretching beforehand proved to be an painfully unhealthy decision that I am paying for.

Yesterday it was excruciating lower back pain, today less so. Last night I barely moved from a chair while I pressed frozen bags of vegetables onto my lower back.  Bless you Tylenol!

Fellow bloggers,  thank you for reading, and rest assured that your blog suggestions and comments are a boon to my recovery!  🙂

Embrace Your Ugly

Funny thing but on television or in movies I notice that ALL the cars are all shiny, clean, polished even.

makes me think of Beach Boys music

In real life my car looks either dusty or dirty seconds after I wash it, and never as clean and shiny as the cars in the car show like the one in the picture I took (above).

I think people try to be like those cars on tv, they project this shiny, polished exterior. I think nearly all of us aren’t like that car, always clean, neat and looking perfect. I know my jeans have patches, and some of my patches have patches! Lol

When we cling to and project the “perfect” image, I think it’s like those people who hold up their hand – “tell it to the hand“, and it keeps others at a distance.

In my life I don’t blurt out to anyone what is going on, but neither am I afraid of being vulnerable either.

I am not gloomy, cynical either, I am always able to find things to be grateful without pretending my life is perfect.

My “ugly” stuff is probably no worse than anybody else’s. It is part of life for me and that perfect life is for movie scripts, it doesn’t exist anywhere else.

Real life and dealing with it is ugly but it’s my ugly and it could be worse.  I have a half fixed fence outside that I am going to fix over the next couple days, I’m half way there!

I definitely need to lose some weight, get more exercise but I also have people who make me feel good, and I had a hug and kiss from my wife when I woke up. oh yeah!

My life ain’t tv pretty, but I am glad I can embrace it, cause it’s my ugly and I am grateful to have it,  very grateful and I hope you can count your blessings also!

Thanks for reading and commenting; I will be happy to reply to your comments and suggestions. You could inspire my next post! 

Finding Your Sweet Spot

I agonize trying to find the “sweet spot” in many areas of my life, and maybe you do also.

If you golf, or play baseball then the sweet spot is that spot on your club or bat where you hit the ball perfectly. If you are a business person then maybe the sweet spot is where your business life and personal life are in balance.

The Sweet Spot is applicable to all areas of life I think, exercise and relaxing, diet and treats, taking risks and not – you name it. 

Blogging is something I really enjoy and yet I post seldom but derive so many pleasure when people respond with positive comments. I would love to find that sweet spot where I regularly blog and don’t feel I am neglecting something else.  I would blog more but I am looking for that sweet spot where my interests and responsibilities to my myself and others are all met. Is it possible?

Another sweet spot that occurs to me is that one acknowledging that my mortality is like musical chairs closing in on me gradually and still enjoy the party while I’m here?

I certainly see lots of room for improvement when I look at myself- being more organized, yard work, exercise, showing my family, and friends how I need each one of them and appreciate them.

Is there a sweet spot between all these areas?

I think that regarding to wellness of life and relationships, I am like everyone else.

 

 

Sometimes I find the sweet spot and sometimes that golf ball of life goes wild and

it’s lost.

Regardless I am still swinging my club of life and maybe that’s the best I can do. Maybe in the game of life, we are meant to  just enjoy the journey.

Thanks for reading, I hope you find your sweet spots. Comments and suggestions always welcome and appreciated. Cheers.

5 foot tall, 100 pounds – Mountain Conqueror

I recently had a discussion with a friend who has set 7 worthwhile goals for themselves.

I confess 7 goals had me thinking and this morning at the auspicious time of 5:30 a.m. I realized it reminded me of Shailee Basnet. (find out more about here by clicking HERE )

I heard this 5 foot tall, 100 pounds young lady at the Vancouver Toastmasters Annual Convention in August, 2017.  The title of her speech was “Together We Reach Higher“.

Now you are wondering the connection between 7 goals and this young speaker. This young woman from very humble beginnings in Nepal has achieved amazing accomplishments she set for herself.

At her young age she has climbed all of the seven summits of each of the seven continents.  (find out more about the Seven Summits by clicking Here)

• African Plate – Kilimanjaro
• Antarctic Plate – Vinson
• Australian Plate – Puncak Jaya / Kosciuszko
• Eurasian Plate – Mount Everest
• North American Plate – Denali
• Pacific Plate – Mauna Kea
• South American Plate – Aconcagua

Moving on from scary cold climbing now she is doing Motivational Speaking especially focused toward women and even doing Stand-Up Comedy in New York. I believe you can find her on Youtube.

Mount Everest Climb

But the thought that I had was that while she had the vision to climb all summits, each of the climbs were individual projects. She would have had to raise money for her team, supplies, travel arrangements, sponsors etc seven separate times although it may have got easier as she became better known.

Each mountain had to be climbed separately, the danger and challenges of each analysed and overcome. Lessons learned and applied and new lessons  added with each mountain goal.

My thoughts as I lay there this morning were big visions and goal setting is fantastic and possible but nothing is achieved all at once.  Climb one mountain at a time, but while climbing that mountain you will learn and it will help your next, and the next.

But first have the vision, plan how you will succeed, and start taking steps.

The  question is really ” Will you be better (closer to your goals) today than you were yesterday? 

“It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.”

― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

 

Thank you kind reader for taking the time to read. If you follow me regularly, even bigger thank you!  I love hearing comments and suggestions and when I receive them I am happy to reply so I get to know the readers better.

The Myths and Magic of Kidney Donation

In this well written, and succinct post the author did an auspicious job of highlighting the MYTHS and the MAGIC of Kidney Donation. Got 60 seconds?

Leaving it better than I found it.

I have been SO impressed with the number of people that reach out to me every week about kidney donation. People are so curious and are really looking to do something meaningful with their lives! I wanted to get a post on my site that addresses some common misconceptions as well as some of the magic that came out of this process for me.

Myths:

You are guaranteed to be a match to your family members, so you’re going to save your kidney in case someone in the fam needs one.

Just because you are related to someone doesn’t mean that you’re definitely a match. Being a match to someone requires that you have a compatible blood type, and you need to be a tissue match. I don’t have exact stats, but I have read multiple places that for siblings there’s a 25% chance of being an “exact match”…

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Walking in the sunshine

They were the best of friends, Dallas and Ryan, and time spent together was always appreciated, even when weeks passed between walks.

Last week they walked on a cold winter day, their faces exposed to the wind, so cold their fingers were still cold inside their gloves jammed in their wool coats.  On that day they had shared periods of silence comfortably with jabs of shared thoughts.  They were just glad to be sharing a walk, despite the weather.

Yesterday the sun shone as the two friends talked, and walked.  The sun shone brightly in intervals because of interfering clouds. As they walked they admired the stillness of the lake, so different from just a week before when it had been stirred up with wind blowing down the valley causing walkers to turtle in their coats.

Dallas was going through a valley of sadness this week, dealing with a temporary situation. He really wanted to feel the sunshine shining down, warming him inside and out. Ryan was there to listen, and understand. He had his share of days when he longed for sunshine also.

During the cloudy interludes Dallas felt chill but it was somehow less because Ryan was there. There they were, two solid friends, admiring the lake, the clouds and sharing the moments together. The clouds may block the sun, but it is still there, and regardless of choppy waves or reflecting calm on the water, it was still the same lake and the sun would break through soon.

Ryan smiled, he caught his friend’s eye, then clapped his hand on his pal’s shoulder, let’s go, tea time!  

Soon they would be enjoying the warmth of hot tea, their fingers wrapped around a china mug, in between sips. Unspoken between them they realized the same understanding –  No matter what, life goes on, so let’s be grateful. 

Relaxed in those chairs, they were walking in a different kind of sunshine even though they were indoors.

It was the kind that comes from counting all the good things in their lives and looking past the clouds, seeing the warmth that is there and the sunshine that will return to walk in, to share.

Life goes on, Life goes on. (Robert Frost knew it all along)

Just a snippet of a story I hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading, and following my blog. I try to reply to all comments, so I can know you each better.