P and C go together

P and C go together

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Praise and Criticism go together, like sweet and sour, if you believe in one, then you believe in the other.

The trouble is we like praise, even if we feel like we don’t deserve it.

Ironically we can feel identically about Criticism, without the “like” part of course ☺: we tend to believe we don’t deserve it either. 

However Praise and Criticism are two sides of the same coin.

Since they can both help us,  we should expect and embrace both. 

Praise is the personal coach that helps us to improve or keep doing whatever earned that praise; as in doing four more planks !

Criticism is the personal coach that helps to improve our “form” so we improve rather than hurt ourselves.

But neither Praise or Criticism should “stick” for long.

Praise is sweet, but meant to be savoured, and enjoyed in the moment – life quickly moves ahead though, and that candy left behind, after being enjoyed.

Criticism may at first leave a bad taste in our mouths, seem negative to us even, but of the two types of feedback, it is really the most helpful despite the initial sour taste.

Criticism is the most helpful because usually we know what we our strong abilities are, but we can be oblivious to how we can improve, it’s really the so-called criticism feedback which we initially consider negative that is really the more helpful.

I also suspect that most criticism is actually of the type you could call a Point for Improvement comment, as in “you might want to try ….”

I try to consider criticism carefully, was it provided to me with the intent of helpfulness? If so, I am grateful for their insight and try to see if I can apply that feedback to a positive result.  If I consider it and I don’t agree, then I can easily let it go in the moment – let life move forward, and simply set it aside. A difference of opinion, neither of us in the “wrong”.

Regardless of whether I accept the criticism or point for improvement,

I believe it is best if I always encourage and give thanks for “criticism” “point for improvement” feedback, just as I do for “praise” since it is always up to me whether I accept it! 

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Me and 2015 Champion Mohammed Qahtani

If you would like to hear Mohammed’s champion speech – click here, I hope you will enjoy his humour and message.

Thank you for following my blog and visiting. I look forward to your  comments! What do you think about this post?

 

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Stormy days and Sunny Days

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A channel connects two lakes here, and it’s a perfect place to bicycle.

I live in a beautiful valley, it stretches north to south for hundreds of miles with different lakes lying in a row north to south. Beautiful to see and drive along no matter the season.

A valley is basically  a corridor and so winds travelling north or south is pretty much a daily occurence, the only variables are the direction (which can change from morning to evening) and the speed of the wind, from almost nothing to robust, blustery storms.

This week has included all of the above, but fortunately the wind has mainly been from the south (warmer), and of course with the wind we are the happy recipients of blue skies, and nights filled with twinkly stars despite the slight drop in temperatures. (minus 3 today when I woke up)

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overlooking Okanagan lake

Two days ago when I was walking around the neighbourhood, I enjoyed watching the straw coloured tall grasses (4 feet to 7 feet tall) whip and bend in the gusts of wind. The grasses seemed to dance and yet returned to upright undamaged over and over.

Reading some posts lately, some bloggers reminded me of these grasses, bending in the wind, they are survivors of tempestuous times.

These bloggers, myself and possibly you reader have had some storms in which you survived by bending and not being rigid.  Life’s weather is overpowering.

That has been the case for myself, I can’t help the irrepressible weather I have had in my life.

When life’s winds blow, we all must bend because we can’t fight the wind, so have no choice except to bend or break. Thankfully most of us will stand again, straight, tall and undamaged after the wind stops.  But first we must weather the storm.

I am very grateful to be enjoying the blessing of receiving my kidney transplant in April of this year. Looking back a year ago,  I had the hope, and the love and support of family and friends to weather the storm,  though sometimes it felt like the storm wouldn’t end. 

It did though, and I hope if you or someone you care for is dealing with a storm right now, hang in there, and let the people who love you support you until it’s over.

Sunny days ahead I hope for you and yesterday I enjoyed a calm sunny day here.  Thanks for reading 🙂

 

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Lumière At English Bay

This quirky blogger also lives in Beautiful BC, she took some beautiful pictures in Vancouver of lighting that I thought my readers would love. English Bay is on the west side of downtown Vancouver, beautiful spot to walk if you visit.

Marla on the Move

Lumière is an annual event here in Vancouver that is said to be inspired by light and artistic expression. A few minutes walk from our apartment, at English Bay, is the current home to one of this year’s 4 public installations. Recently, on my way home from work one evening, I decided to check it out.

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Taciturn Tuesday Morning

It rained last night, and the streets were wet when I peeked out the front window curtains before dawn arrived.

Today the sides of the valley are wearing scarves of cloud, and I can see snow is now visible up there.

Snow shovels are poised for action but first I have more leaves to rake outside, but soon that chore will be done for 2019.

A doe and her twins has been visiting regularly,  in both the front and back yard, nibbling on the soft grasses and the bright cactus my son planted.

I hope they have a dry spot somewhere to lie down today.  Such placid calm visitors, they saunter the neighbourhood, sampling as they go.

(I didn’t get a picture of the deer today, so I used ones from earlier this year)

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Farmers Wisdom I can use

Farmers are independent workers.  They are working on large sections of land, miles from nowhere usually.

Farmers need to plough (or plow) their fields before they can plant seeds and grow crops. Ploughing is when a tractor pulls a blade through a field creating furrows,  and the purpose is to turn and break up soil, to bury crop residues, and to help control weeds.

tractor beside grass field

Photo by Nicolas Veithen on Pexels.com

You can probably envision a tractor driving long straight lines, back and forth, trying to keep the lines straight and be efficient since there is a lot of land to be ploughed.

Occasionally the farmer comes across an obstacle, like an old tree stump.  Maybe it is something the farmer can remove, but if he does it could take the rest of the day so he will lose hours or a whole day to remove an obstacle that he could just detour around and then resume his ploughing.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

That happens with me also. I sometimes come across something unexpected that is blocking my path, something I can’t change.

I sometimes have my day all planned, my orderly mind has the day all mapped out,  then something changes.  Now my plans must change,  I can’t do exactly what I had planned,  and maybe it changes the whole rest of my day.

I could get frustrated, or I could accept that sometimes there’s a stump in the way, I can look at it as an obstacle or an opportunity.

I am getting better at ploughing around the stump. Maybe there is something else I am meant to”discover”, or accomplish if I just open my mind, and forget about the stump.

Maybe even I will later look back on the stump “obstacle” and be glad it changed the course of my day.

Regardless, the stump is there, and the farmer’s wisdom is right, instead of letting it throw the farmer off, he simply moves forward with just a quick detour.

The obstacle is quickly forgotten, if you let it,  as you move forward.

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Just thinking out loud, and hoping you will have a wonderful day. 

This post was inspired by a friend. I had coffee with this friend the other day and frustration with something uncontrollable was causing my friend stress and it reminded me of farmer’s wisdom.

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Better early than late, every time !

I feel like I am looping back to a previous post of mine – The Lucky Ones have Crutches and Bandages – I hope you have read it, if not CLICK HERE.

In the Saturday Globe & Mail newspaper of November 9, 2019 there was an interesting read about veterans, and in particular a pilot.

aerobatics air air force air show

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I found my attention drawn to the short article about Mr. Guinan. Guinan served as a pilot and air traffic controller for 28 years. Long hours, and stress eventually took a toll resulting in health conditions that left him no alternative but to retire, and he was eventually released for depression. He had dealt with his health issues, including depression,  his whole life, masking it but eventually he could not avoid it’s effect on his life.

I can imagine the retirement decision was difficult, an invisible but very real and debilitating illness forced him to leave, and seek treatment. Especially tough recognizing he worked in the military and what I suppose is a military expectation that he show no emotion or weaknesses.

These are the words that caught, or grabbed my attention in his article.

By accessing treatment and being honest about his struggles -something that is sadly uncommon in military circles – Guinan is epitomizing what it means to be a leader. 

It’s about understanding that seeking  help is not weakness – but rather any person’s greatest sign of bravery. 

This is the line I read three times.  Seeking Help is not weakness – but rather any person’s greatest sign of bravery. 

Please encourage yourselves and people you care about not to hesitate about getting health help.

Whether depression, headaches, pains – it doesn’t matter – get your butts in there and check it out, and do it early pretty please.

  • I know people die because they don’t go to the hospital with chest pains.
  • I know people die because they wait too long to get a lump or pain investigated only to learn cancer has spread beyond treatment.
  • I know people do suffer with depression or other mental health problems but hide it sometimes to tragic unnecessary results.
  • Be an advocate for yourself, and do it early.
  • Demonstrate your bravery and positive choices to help them do the same.

 

rio 4Thank you for reading. This may not be a blog post that is applicable to you. But it could be for someone you know.

In fact, I am uncertain if I should have written it, but here it is.

I hate to think that there are people out there, feeling they have to hide needing to seek help.

It’s bravery, not a weakness to seek help when you need it and it’s not bad to put yourself first, there are times for that and it’s the opposite of being selfish.

There is nothing to be ashamed of seeking help, in fact do it right away.

Be an example to others, by bravely getting help when you need it immediately, and then encourage others to do the same. 

 

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